A little story about...

God's gift to me this Valentine's day was Grace.

Trying to explain Grace is kind of like trying to explain wind, or water, or beautiful sunsets...so I'm not even going to try.
But this is my story of Grace finding me (again) on February 14th.

The weekend before Valentine's Monday, I found myself in a predicament. Because of a certain situation, I was left feeling strangely insecure, kind of lonely, and uncertain if I had done something to hurt someone. A constant nagging feeling of empty questioning and gnawing anxiety followed me for several days.
I can't stand that feeling.
But I do know how to fix that feeling - fast. I've done it before! Most often, I can fix it by having an honest heart-to-heart with (whomever) and figuring out if there is actually a problem to solve or if my conscience is playing tricks on me. The problem (or un-problem) is dealt with and voila!
Nagging voice gone.
This time, for whatever reason, I didn't feel free to do that. I'm pretty sure it was the Lord.

When something happens that whips the carpet out from under my feet, the true state of my heart is always revealed, whether I like it or not. In this case, I was found  having holes - big holes - that had formerly been filled by people.

It's good to have wonderful people in our lives.
But not when they fill up our holes. Only God was intended to do that.

So I felt him calling me on a journey to walk out my insecurity with Him and Him alone.
No quick fixes.
And I was left with the question echoing around in my heart, "Is He enough?"

Monday afternoon I tripped over my kids out into the chilly sunshine, Micah on one hip, diaper bag over my shoulder, heading to a Valentines party.
The second I slammed our icy door I realized I had left the van and house keys safely locked inside. After a brief moment of panic I remembered
the Key.
The Key we had hidden away for the times I do this.
The Key that was resting in its hiding place in the middle of our yard, now covered in a foot and a half of snow.
And I was wearing flats.

But it didn't matter. The snow melting on my socks felt good, knowing I was going to get the Key that would enable us to get to our party instead of freeze outside. I found myself laughing as I almost wiped out and the kids watched and giggled too. And the second my fingers touched the cold metal of that Key, I felt Him talking to me again, whispering into my heart,
"If you hadn't walked through the snow, you would never even have thought about your keys.
It's only when you walk through the snow that a Key can be so appreciated."

Grace.
Do I appreciate God's Grace when things are easy?
Do I even think about it?

Plodding through the snowy banks of difficulty and pain and hardship alone with Jesus
ISN'T easy or comfortable,
but it IS worth it.
When I am weak, then I am strong.
The Grace I found that day was enough.
Actually, it was more than enough.


"But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”
2 Corinthians 12:9

p.s. My new book "Grace based parenting" just arrived in the mail - literally half an hour ago!

The best thing about finding Grace is learning how to extend it to others! Off I go!

I think when God sent us Josh, He knew we needed someone to add laughter to our house.

And laughter is exactly what Josh gives us.

Lately Josh has particularly enjoyed praying with great gusto and expression.

Before any meal, him and Ellie usually have a quick bicker over who will pray first. Ellie's prayers are most often poetic, and she attempts to rhyme her sentences and include words like 'sun' and 'flower' and 'heart'.

Josh's sound a little more like this:

"Thank you LORD that there's a PARTY in my TUMMY! And thank you for cinnamon bagels and baNAAAANAAAA. And thank you LORD that we're GOOD at not ARGURING (arguing) and thank you LORD that we're GREAT FRIENDS. Aaaaymen."

or how about

"Dear Jesus. Help me to have a gooood BULLDOZER. But not real. And thank you that I LOVE BULLDOZERS. Aaaaymen."

or maybe

"Dear God. Thank you that I will grow, and please help me to grow into a SINEY (shiny) armour! Aaaaaymen."

Recently my friend Elleah shared that her daughter Kiera (age 3) had asked Jesus into her heart. I was impacted as Elleah shared about how much prayer she had put into her daughter's decision, and was strongly impressed that I began doing the same for Josh (Ellie also asked Jesus into her heart at age 3 which you can read about here).

I could tell that since Christmas his understanding of things and life and Jesus had 'matured' (if you can call it that for a preschooler) and one day soon he'd get it. Two times recently, for instance, when I've been standing in line with Josh to get communion at our church, he's looked up at me spontaneously and whispered, "I forgive you that I disobeyed you."...and it's like something in his heart knows that as we're about to remember Jesus dying on the cross for our brokenness, we need to make things right with others.

As though something in his heart was telling him that he needs a Saviour, too.

Well this week another friend shared that her daughter had asked Jesus into her heart. I told Ellie one morning at breakfast (because I knew she'd be excited) and explained to Josh that whenever one person asks Jesus to be the King of their life, the angels in heaven have a party. I finished by saying, "Josh, if you ever feel ready to do that, you just let me know, okay?"

And was about to go butter the bagels when  I heard,

"Okay. I'm ready!"

And just like that, he (enthusiastically) invited Jesus to be the King in his little heart.

And if I am very honest half of me thought, "Josh has no clue what he just did."

Which is probably partly true.

The other half of me prayed, "LORD JESUS...grow that little seed into a tree with

deep deep roots of faith in the One and Only Living God!"

All of us begin somewhere.

And so the angels celebrated. Again! And one day we'll be there, celebrating too,

with a party of proportions our minds can't even comprehend.

In the meantime, we have little gifts of laughter sent from heaven, sometimes in the form of Josh. I'll leave you with a few more of my favourite recent Josh moments:

After getting dressed for the day it's not uncommon for Josh to say something like, "This is my COOL DUDE shirt. Now I look BANKASTIC! (fantastic)"

And because I know Josh thinks 'cool dudes' are where it's at, sometimes I'll come into his room at bedtime and say something like, "Hey, Cool Dude."

And then he says,

"I'm not a coool duuuude. I'm just Joshy. I don't love cool dudes. I just love trains, and cars, and Bob de Builder."

And I ask, "So, what do you think you might be when you grow up, if you love those things?"

Josh (without hesitating): "A SINEY (shiny) ARMOUR!"

Me: "Ooooh. That sounds BRAVE!"

Josh: "And I will KILL the bad guys! (insert something like sword sound effects)"

Me: "Wow! That sounds REALLY brave!"

Josh: "Actually....I won't be a siny armour. I will be...

I will be....

I will be...

A WORM!"

Me: "A WORM!?"

Josh: "A worm! And I will WIGGLE IN DA MUD!"

(the very next morning he declared he would be a dinosaur...but that he wouldn't eat me.)

How about this conversation in the doctor's office:

Josh: "Can I sit in that chair?" (secretary's chair)

Me: "Only if you work here!"

Josh: "Is it for girls?"

Me: "Usually."

Josh: "I'm a girl!"

Me: "Uh...actually you're a boy."

Josh: "I AM a girl!"

Me: "Josh, you're a boy. You love dinosaurs and trains."

Josh: "I'm a GIRL. I love ballerinas."

Me: "Then show me your ballet dancing."

And he did. Right there in the doctor's waiting room. I wasn't the only one laughing. :)

And finally, a friend's dear, elderly mother recently passed away. For the sake of privacy we'll call our friend "Bob."

Rob told Josh to come upstairs one morning and eat breakfast and pray for Uncle Bob because his mommy had died. Josh came upstairs with a look of (mock) shock on his face and said, "MOMMY! Uncle Bob DIED!"

We all chuckled and Rob corrected Josh, "No, his MOMMY died."

Josh looked at me, even more shocked,  pointed, and said,

"Mommy YOU died!"

When we had finally managed to explain to you what had really happened, you prayed,

"Dear Jesus. Help Uncle Bob's mommy not to be dead on the cross. Amen."

Josh, thanks for the hilarity.

God has made you great at putting smiles (as big as your own) on our faces.

I pray that as Jesus becomes really real to you,

your own joy would increase by thousands and millions. 

Because that's what Jesus tends to do to people.

Snowy (and warmer) Days

 Well I figured after my friend Cheryl posted this post I ought to put up some pictures of how white it really is around here. Yesterday and today are the kind of days that make us Manitobans feel spoiled rotten. The kind of days that make us feel like perhaps, just perhaps, we can make it through the winter with a smile on our faces after all. The kind of days that make us a little less tempted to move away...somewhere southern...like Texas.

Yes folks, it's been above 0 degrees C for the last two days.

And we celebrate this little kiss from La Nina by bundling up TWICE a day to play outside, eat snow, and build forts. We celebrate by lining up dripping snow pants and soaked mitts on the hot air vents to dry. We celebrate by daring to run outside to throw out the trash without a face mask on. :)

Today I am thankful for warmer-than-average temperatures,

for an abundance of ski-pants and gloves and hats,

and on all the other days of winter,

COMMAND START in our van! 

Wrestle time

Our kids have finally begun to realize that wrestling is one of the best parts about having a sibling. Surprisingly, this didn't even end in tears!

Don't worry Micah. One day you'll get to do that too.